Saturday, October 27, 2007
do i look like i care?
the first sms i received today set me in a real disappointed mood.it truly did.
i was under the impression that we would discuss on the time to meet and all but yet instead you told me that you're already on the way to meet someone else.
especially when this someone happens to be someone i dont feel comfortable around.
ive been wanting to say this but the way he speaks to you is different from the way he does with me.
i may be wrong, but it's been more than once i felt condemned in his presence.
dont tell me that it's the devil messing with my head.
you are not me. you do not know how i feel when im around him.
i dont need this right now.
i seriously dont.
im just a fucking human being with feelings and emotions.
i may not be able to hide them as discreet as i want them to be.
but ive always been real and true.
it's been a while since my inner feelings are able to transcend outwardly.
daddy god ive been asking for the longest time why i have to feel what i feel.
why do i have to be so full of emotions?
why am i made to be who i am?
what good does it do to me?
im so puzzled and confused.
it's been time and again that i wind up getting hurt.
be it love or friendships.
im so sick and tired.
im just letting go.
i wish i dont care for people.
but i cant.
i wish i dont feel so easily.
but i cant.
i wish i could just be as cold as ice.
but i cant.
ive tried and ive failed.
ive gave my best shot and crumbled miserably.
ive decided to give up on having hope in humans.
truly.
laugh at me all you want.
boo at me all you want.
jeer at me all you want.
condemn me for all i care.
make me the joke for all i care.
i just dont care anymore.
ive given up on all things.
all.
daddy god it's only you i can face right now.
Melly spun on 9:56 PM.
