Saturday, October 27, 2007
do i look like i care?
the first sms i received today set me in a real disappointed mood.it truly did.
i was under the impression that we would discuss on the time to meet and all but yet instead you told me that you're already on the way to meet someone else.
especially when this someone happens to be someone i dont feel comfortable around.
ive been wanting to say this but the way he speaks to you is different from the way he does with me.
i may be wrong, but it's been more than once i felt condemned in his presence.
dont tell me that it's the devil messing with my head.
you are not me. you do not know how i feel when im around him.
i dont need this right now.
i seriously dont.
im just a fucking human being with feelings and emotions.
i may not be able to hide them as discreet as i want them to be.
but ive always been real and true.
it's been a while since my inner feelings are able to transcend outwardly.
daddy god ive been asking for the longest time why i have to feel what i feel.
why do i have to be so full of emotions?
why am i made to be who i am?
what good does it do to me?
im so puzzled and confused.
it's been time and again that i wind up getting hurt.
be it love or friendships.
im so sick and tired.
im just letting go.
i wish i dont care for people.
but i cant.
i wish i dont feel so easily.
but i cant.
i wish i could just be as cold as ice.
but i cant.
ive tried and ive failed.
ive gave my best shot and crumbled miserably.
ive decided to give up on having hope in humans.
truly.
laugh at me all you want.
boo at me all you want.
jeer at me all you want.
condemn me for all i care.
make me the joke for all i care.
i just dont care anymore.
ive given up on all things.
all.
daddy god it's only you i can face right now.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
we are anna suis! (:
today's stockings day!! (:
little did we know that we wore the same colours! haa.
we are so anna sui! hee.
♥
black and purple legs!
woot! ;x
♥
this requires serious balancing skills! har har.
♥
please dont be mislead by the messy piles of mail bags, boxes and cartons at the background.
we're NOT working in post office ok!
♥
Stockings Day! (:
today's stockings day! (: ★
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
mousy melly! hee. ;P
wooo.. some new clips on i bought! hee.
leopard mousy melly! hee.
★
and here's..
sherk mousy melly!! haa.
hee. i like this better! coz it's blue! haa.
let's have a party soon! hee.
★
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
tribute to all women!
such SWEET surprise! hee. thank you for the sweets! (:
♥
this entry is dedicated for all you ladies out there! (:
women need not be pressurised to conform to the definition of beauty set by this anorexia-is-becoming-the-normal crazy world.
as cliche as it sounds, you cant deny the fact that beauty is merely skin deep.
ive seen and met jaw-dropping gorgeous ladies whom turns me off completely once you hear what they have to offer.
ive seen and met jaw-dropping gorgeous ladies whom turns me off completely once you hear what they have to offer.
all they seek for is fame, loads of cash, popularity and what have you. at all cost.
that's cheap. life of such materialistic pursuits lose the essential of beauty.
it goes without saying that this doesnt comply to all gorgeous babes. (DUH.)
anyway, here are some of my beautiful girlfriends whom, to me, are simply BEAUTIFUL in their each unqiue way! (:
and to me, they are wise women too! WOOT! (:
sabbie! she holds a darn crucial and important role in moulding the future of singapore, and maybe even the world! haa.
dont think that only chinese or asians understands mandarin alright! think again! hee.
♥
princess mandy! wisdom of daddy god surrounds this pretty lady!
princess mandy! wisdom of daddy god surrounds this pretty lady!
im so gonna miss you when you're gone. boohoo. ;(
you better miss me too!
or else i'll bish you! haa. ;P
♥
glorious princess mummy sharon! she gave birth to a gaint (weighing at 4.28kg!) healthy blessed baby - prince jayden!! will be visiting you real real real soon my princess mummy!! (:
and the utmost right is none other than my TWIN! hello suga twin!! hee.
we are way alike in too many ways that it's evident we are TWINS!
but twin, you're 10cm TALLER than me! PASS ME SOME HEIGHT! hee.
♥
awww.. my sozo love xy princess! hearts the manys!!
melly misses you so much!
come back from UK soon ok! as promised will take time out to accompany you for sure!
just for my lovely sozo love! (:
solemn no more! amen!
♥
ohhh.. is that you hunny princess?! hee.
my lil sister who i really heart many many manys!!
such sweet love overflowing from this young babe!
truly jesus-loved! (;
aint we all? amen!
♥
dolly li!
what can you say besides being my lesbi for the past decade? haa. vomit.
has been a sch beauty since secondary sch days,
was a NTU beauty queen(like WOW?!),
and gotten numerous citi awards at work!!!
are you a champ or what! haa. you ruled it all!
hmm.. do i hear wedding bells soon? oops. hee.
all in all, you're such an adorable, faithful and awesome sista!
hearts you manys manys! (:
♥
and lastly my MUMMY!
yes, she's the one who controls my diet! even till now! and wouldnt fail to say it RIGHT IN MY FACE when ive gained some pounds! ARGH!
but she LOVES me. she shows it in her small little ways. hee.
im a mummy's and daddy's girl! (:
♥
i didnt forget about you, my sweetie mono dearie in case you're wondering! hee.
i dont have pics taken with you! so cant blog it! :(
let's go cam-whoring soon ya! hee. (:
hearts you the manys bestie! har har. hee.
♥
Sunday, October 21, 2007
melly is made VICTORIOUS by Daddy God! (;
it's been a long time since i missed service on Sundays.
part of me just died.
just crushed into pieces and all hope simply dashed.
♥
that idiot had been appearing in my dreams for many nights now.
but i know my decision is right.
doesnt matter the misery that's creeping up on me.
the heartache doesnt mean anything at all.
because he is not worthy of me.
he is merely a coward who lives in a facade of his own world of made-up lies.
and i despise him.
strongly.
♥
what's wrong with being an open book?
what's wrong with being emotional?
what's wrong with being full of humanity?
what's wrong with being real and true to yourself?
my answer is this:
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG.
im so blessed to be created to be who i am by my awesome Daddy God.
as it is written, we are all made in the image of Daddy God!
How cool is that!! (;
♥
my Daddy God said that He only has plans to prosper His children!
And i receive!! (:
i dont care if my circumstances appear dim and disheartening,
but i know im VICTORIOUS.
I AM. (:
♥
what im feeling are not cruical.
it's what i believe in my Daddy God says over my life that MATTERS!
AMEN! (:
Thursday, October 18, 2007
politics is nothing. ive daddy god. (:
wow.. it had been a tough week.
since Monday. :(
politics politics politics. at work.
though I'm not first-hand involved.
all thanks to my daddy god. (:
my department had an initial strength of 6 headcounts.
1 left on Monday. abruptly. (another long story)
my mummy flo was hospitalised today. :(
another kaki colleague is gonna tender her resignation soon. :(:(
I'm now stuck with the baddies and villains.
cant deny the fact that my boss is partly responsible for all the mess stirring up in the office.
i don't need to stoop down and apple-polish.
i remembered pastor ever said this,
"The favour of God doesn't necessarily mean you'll be the most popular person."
amen! (:
it's so true.
my boss is outrightly favouring this someone in our office for all the wrong reasons (and he can blatantly deny all he want?!).
those who have eyes to see can see!
and yet I'm left uninvolved in all the politics nonsense trash.
so favoured by daddy god indeed! (:
♥
so loved by daddy god truly.
such sweet intoxicating love. (:
there's such peace in my spirit and soul,
though my emotions may be in turmoil. (:
daddy god is so FAITHFUL.
daddy god's love endures forever.
amen! (:
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
working partners! (:
Hello!
Here are some of my lovely colleagues in my office!
check it out! hee. (:
we are firefighters! ★
lookalikes? :x
★
wanna volunteer?
jean is the person you should be looking for! (:
she loves hitting my ass. :(
★
she may be in charge of corporate communications,but a true arts and crafts teacher at heart!
right ms chng?
★
our pantry!
★
cuties! (:★
ACT-bimbo. hee.we dont qualify to be the actual ones coz we are too wise. :D
★
1,2,3,4! Teamwork!
1,2,3,4! Teamwork!★
everyone is my department wears the same model, same coloured slippers! haa.
everyone is my department wears the same model, same coloured slippers! haa.It's true. Believe it.
★
ohhhh... muackies!
★
im not willingly. :(
★
ohhhh... muackies!★
im not willingly. :( haaa. i know she is in love with me. heee. so kidding.
★
Much more kisses!!!
★
Much more kisses!!! Har har har har. :P
★
★
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
let Your will be done. (:
ive this urge to message him. suddenly.
i dont know if it's deception or what.
but it just dawned upon me that some things he said may really be the truth.
Daddy God, it doesn't what i feel.
i let go and let You take over.
it doesnt matter what i feel.
what matters is let things be Your will, and not mine. :)
Daddy God, it hurts.
and i know You know im hurting. (this liner sounds like a tongue twister. hee.)
i know im so loved by You, Daddy God.
and that You would not allow any evil to harm and hurt me.
Daddy God, let Your will be done. (:
sniff sniff
you can sense this unmistakable desire when someone really wants something real bad?
you can just sniff it out.
the stories you made up today were unbelievably so fiction-like.
seriously please stop all these lies.
you are like the boy who cries wolf.
i know you are not for real.
if you truly are, there are plenty of things you can do but no i dont see any.
quitting playing the games that you play.
try using it on all your other girls.
it's not going to work on me.
Daddy God promises me that the future of a child of God is only better and great things.
unfortunately, you do not fit in the bill of being better or great.
i deserve much better because im greatly loved by my Daddy God. :)
♥
bought a ben & jerry lip balm for sweetie mandy on Sunday and only got to give it to her today as she was on leave for the past 2 days!
bought a ben & jerry lip balm for sweetie mandy on Sunday and only got to give it to her today as she was on leave for the past 2 days!
so happy. hee.
just wanted to bless her with it coz i knew she liked it alot.
and im so elated that she totally adored it. hee.
made me even happier. hee.
i know im silly. but it just makes me happy knowing that someone else is happy! :)
♥
hmm.. im thinking of putting a tattoo. hee. should i? or should i not?
hmm.. im thinking of putting a tattoo. hee. should i? or should i not?
i dont know. maybe i should lose some weight first. hee.
so meanwhile it buys me some time to toy with the idea of getting a tattoo.
hmm.. maybe i should get another piercing or something.
man, i miss my tongue stud. :'(
♥
P-I-M-P-L-E-S! such a cursed word!! NO!
P-I-M-P-L-E-S! such a cursed word!! NO!
no idea why XXXXXX (6-letter-cursed-word) are popping out all over my face. :(
so upset. :(
G-A-S-T-R-I-C-S! another bad word! NO! NO!
been down with bad gastrics since monday though i ate regular meals.
strange. real queer.
double upset. :( :(
must be due to the stress at work. stupid.
so many firefighting and injustice everyday.
triple upset. :( :( :(
hmp, nevermind.
melly, remember! work onto Daddy God!
it's not the approval of man i yearn for.
but to glorify Daddy God through your work! :)
no evil weapons formed against me shall prosper.
my Daddy God makes sure of that. :)
because He loves silly melly. :)
♥
im really thankful that Daddy God has been so real in my life.
im really thankful that Daddy God has been so real in my life.
especially so for the past couple of weeks.
my walk with my Daddy God is so sweet and awesome.
i appreciate how He created me, just the way i am. :)
most importantly, Daddy taught me to love myself.
such sweet jesus-love resides in melly heart all the days of my life. :) :)
Melly spun on 10:08 PM.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
just go away.
do you seriously think that you can just come and go as you freaking please?
just continue to dream on. really.
why start pestering me via all means of medium suddenly?
so abruptly.
why bother pulling the pitiful tactics and tug at my heartstrings?
work aint as busy now and you need some company to hang out with?
that's totally disgusting. seriously.
just stay away.
faraway from me.
ive never felt so much hatred and anger towards someone before.
you are not worthy to be with me.
you are not even fit to be my friend.
i dont need a lie-spinning machine around me.
dont see a use for that.
my daddy god is my protector and safekeeper.
just bear that in mind.
you've caused enough trouble already.
just go away.
it's too late now.
you've lost your chance.