Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Monday, August 28, 2006

i miss being completely immensed in His presence.
i miss being able to laugh and joke with daddy god.
i miss the peace i have in Him even when in times of storm.
i miss knowing that He's constantly here for me.
i miss having a friend who truly cares for me.
i miss the joy in praise and worship.
i miss having fellowshiping with His children.

I miss living each day seeing Jesus in every poloriod of my life.

My Lord, My Saviour, My Redeemer,
Lover of my Soul.

entwined in this undeniable sense of fear,
with each moment drawing nearer to this undesirable place named as work.

silly as it may be,
starting to dislike having to work where i am.
maybe coz i tend to feel lousy about myself at the end of each working day,
i really do.
work doesnt seem enticing as it used to be;
but rather black and dull.

pressing on with perservance in full force,
i pray that my fears will be gone,
knowing that they're paid for on the cross.

no longer seem to be able to decipher between scarsams and light hearted jokes anymore.
seems very greyish.

pray in jesus' name that i'll be delivered out of this soon.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

".. You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day.."

had a terrified crazy day at work.
being pressed by boss at the start of the day till it's too suffocating for me to breathe.
he seems to gain thrills out of pressurising me.
nevermind if you dont trust me, but dont insult me.
constructive citrics but never meaningless scarsams.
i dont believe in working for him anymore.
though he may be a believer too,
but surely our beliefs dont cross the same path.

why did i have to tear in front of these people?
isnt that a sign of weakness and incompentence?
which only allows them to have another something else to bitch about me.
as much as i dont wish to be so pessmistic,
im beginning to be slowly demoralised.

work makes me feel like a lesser person.
it's the posion of speech which kills me and my morale.
sincerely tried my hardest to fight back those tears of shattered trust.
tried washing my cup filled with condemnation as often as possible,
but still; why am i feeling what im feeling now?

then here, there's an intern who has recently been converted to a full-timer;
greatly loved by everyone in the office.
i know my boss personally favour her too.
you know, when pastor prince always mentioned about the favoured one who may never get things right, but still greatly favoured?
yea, she's the one.
and it's me who the one who gets disfavoured. hee.

having know my establishment of righteousness in christ,
why do i have to undergo what i have to go through at work every single day?
every day at work, im constantly made to feel lesser of myself.
of course, there're sunshiny days, but mostly rainy, gloomy days;
as much as i've been trusting Daddy God to a much better day with each passing day.

i know that though i dont see any changes to my situation now even after my numerous prayers,
manifestations are already taking place when my prayer(s) are made. amen. =)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! ;D (or rather belated. ;P)

wow, had such an awesomified birthday this year! thank you Daddy god for such blessings in my life!

Yes, melly was having birthday blues since last week. Praise be Daddy that im not only healed of the blues, but blest with abundance confetti of rainbow joys! ;)

Truly felt so heartwarming having being in the midst of Daddy's children the whole of yesterday! Every now and then, there'll be someone who pops out and wishes me for my birthday with their warm smiles and handshakes. Truly made me felt like a royal princess.

Thank you Daddy God for reminding me once again that im so precious in your eyes.
And that alone, is what matters most.

Thanks to Siling's CG who prayed a birthday prayer for me! (My first birthday prayer! ;D)

Yes, thanks for sharing about yesterday's message Uncle Steve, really opened my eyes to dew-fresh relevations.

Mummy Sharon for being so blurry and sent the wrong messages to me and let the cat out of the bag. Haaa.

Thanks for the lolly and balloons Sam!

YL and Vivien, the strike of midnight party friends!

To Li, whom we just cant seem to meet up during these couple of days; our timing kept clashing! Haaa. But not today! Yuppie! ;P

Princess Siling! Thanks for creating the booklet and what you wrote really was truly sweet and warm like hot chocolate, just as you are. (: You are truly a precious jewel. My younger sister whom i never had. Hee. ;]

Everyone whom smsed me their sweet birthday blessings, melly receives them with many thanks! ;) Thanks for all the gifts too!

Truthfully, never did i expect to have enjoyed myself for my birthday. Not by gifts, not by the parties, but through Daddy God. Really accelerated me to this new height of joy! It's a WOOHOO feeling!

Thank you Daddy God who made ALL things possible;graciously crowned me with glory and hounor in all the days of my life. Praise DADDY GOD! ;D

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Monday, August 07, 2006

more than 12 hours of sleep today!
happy happy. ;P
havent been able to sleep much for the past week. ;(

sad that i had to miss service today! aww.. :(

here's my birthday wish for this year:

may i have an abundance of godly friends to fellowship with. ;)

whenever i see siling and steve with their strings of campus friends, i pray deep down that i'll have cliques of fun, christ-filled friendships. Relationships not based on our human strengths and efforts but of Daddy God's goodness. It's so awesome man,

Friends to spur and encourage you on during your good and bad times! At times, it feels quite odd, having to be so filled and wanting to share but having no one to share your joy in Him. It's way to refreshing each time having to fellowship and having opened my eyes to much more revelations.

Cant help but feel what's the use of being of good cheer. What's the use of having friends when you'll just wind up losing them.

Nevertheless, im never gonna to give up; yearning to wake up to Daddy's goodness with each waking morning.

May Daddy God's goodness and mercy shine upon you and i for the rest of our lives. ;)

Sunday, August 06, 2006

sometimes it just gets so very sick
having to be alive,
being with people you are with,
being who you think you should be,
to do whatever it takes to get what you want;
just plain shallow.

there's this disconnection with people lately,
sensing the goodness of human slipping all away,
just seems like everyone is only out to get you,
for the benefits of oneselves.

it's just sick.

sometimes i wonder why do i believe in people.
at the end of the day,
when you most need them,
all you get is a pack of reasoning.
Not a hug,
Not a pat on the shoulder.
Not a "it's ok,"

starting to believe that never show your weak link,
coz you'll wind up being the loser.

everyone says that no one is born perfect,
but do anyone truly understand the true meaning of that.

Thursday, August 03, 2006