Monday, January 22, 2007
wanted to watch hoobastank live in concert this coming Sat.wanted to support Singapore art scene by catching Hossan's play Multiple Personality Disorder.
had so much desires in my heart
but none to be fulfilled
coz that would mean doing these all by myself.
then why place such desires in me in the first place? WHY?
why have friends when you dont even get to spend time with them -
when their boyfriends and other friends seemed like their piority?
what are friends?
have lost the definitions and meaning of what friends really mean.
dont believe in having friends anymore.
no longer have the faith to take another step of trying to believe in someone as a friend
coz it's just gonna wind up downhill
just like the umpteenth time.
where were you when i most needed a friend?
it may just a simple sms or call but you may be too caught with other more important things in your life.
im just not worthy enough to have your time.
it's about time i cut off all connections deemed possible.
part of me knows that it's the work of the enemy
to have convinced me of such lies
but daddy god, i no longer hold this key of ownership - my identity in you.
have immersed myself with worship songs and books and your words
but what are these when i cant share
never expereinced such intense lost for a long while.
is it true that misery loves company?
is my time is up?
it sure feels like it.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
there's just something about youisnt it?
wow.. but after all these years?
it's so unfair to feel again how i first felt towards you.
which was like 5 years ago?
it just isn't fair at all.
why do i feel what i feel? Haa.
Had treated you as a good friend, a brother to me.
But why?
Why do i feel for you again, just simply coz after having spend some time with you?
Your presence just simply made my heart beat in a frenzy behaviour.
Why, why, why?
This doesnt make any sense to me. Hee.
To be honest, totally irk what im feeling.
Someone whom i especially cared all these while.
I can deny or deceive myself all i want,
but somehow felt exceptionally concerned when it comes to you.
Such feelings may not appear mutual,
but still deep down within,
there's this part which is silently, subconsciously reserved for you - as much as i try as hard as i can to void such existence. Haa.
This truth - i'll personally ensure that you'll never discover.